Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Dad He Didn't Have To Be

Ever since a conversation with another guy a few weeks ago, I knew I wanted to write this post. However, I knew I needed to write this post when I had cooled off a little bit and my emotions weren't going to get the best of me. Quite honestly I'm not even sure what I want to say, but I know I need to say it. This post might be a bit ramble-y and for that I apologize, but what I'm about to say has a huge impact on my life and the life of my daughter so I want it to be said…

My husband is a rockstar. My husband is phenomenal. My husband is my world. 
My husband is a DAD to a little girl when he never had to be. 

Backtrack to my conversation with this random guy a few weeks ago:
"Oh you have a daughter? Is it your husbands kid?"
Not only does that question PISS ME THE HELL OFF, but it's just rude. You don't ask someone that. And although I could lie to people and say "yes", for some reason this time I said "not his biological daughter…"
He replies with...
"Wait, let me get this straight….you had a KID with ANOTHER GUY and someone STILL married you? AND he raises your kid? WOW! Hats off to him because I could NEVER do that"

…..you know why you could probably never do that? Because it takes a real MAN to be in that kind of situation and still make the best of it. From the way you're talking right now you are a poor excuse for a man, random stranger I just met. It also takes a MAN to love a woman with a child. It takes a MAN to love that child exactly like his own and do the best job he can at raising he/she. 

So rude. Rude, rude, RUUUUDE! 
It literally made my blood boil. It took everything in me not to call my husband over and have him knock the stupid kid out. But because i'm a lady, I decided not do that. 

The thing is this; yes, it's not "cookie cutter" for relationships to happen the way mine did. But you know what? It did happen. And you know what else? Believe it or not, we are HAPPY. We are a family. We love each other, all three of us. Baby girl and M have a bond like i've never seen before. 
He is the designated "story reader" at night. He let's her ride on him like a horsey around the living room. He's taught her that dirt and mud are okay and that being afraid of flies is the silliest thing ever. 

So let me say again, my husband is a ROCKSTAR. He never HAD to be a dad. He never HAD to stay around when I told him about baby girl on the first night we met. But he CHOSE to do that. He KNEW what he was getting into. In my opinion, that's the manliest thing a man can do. 

Before you judge someones relationship or say ANYTHING to their face, please think of their feelings. Think of what they might have been through to get to the point they are in their life. 
I truly thank God each and every single day that my husband was brought into our lives. I couldn't love that man any more if I tried. One of his most attractive qualities is that he IS such an amazing DAD. 

We love you, M. Thank you for everything you do. You'll never know the impact you've had on our lives or how much we truly truly love you. You are our world. 
A million times over again, THANK YOU. 







13 comments:

  1. This post makes my heart so happy.

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  2. Awwww. Lovely. I have a similar story and I love the way you handled this. Hats off!

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  3. Ugh!! Yes! I hate "boys" like that! When I found out I was pregnant a guy friends told me that I would probably be single forever because no guy would want to be with a woman and raise a kid that wasn't theirs. Some other jerk told me that his pride kept him from raising a child that wasn't his. Ugh. THE NERVE of some people.

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  4. Wowwww remeber u are one lucky woman don't ever let anyone get the best of u.. all the ppls that says bad things are just jelouse because they are not happy as u are.. so held ur head high woman.. : ) I'm so proud of u

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  5. Too bad there aren't more MEN out there like M! They are a dime a dozen. I'm lucky enough to have one of those dimes also. My husband is the best father I could ask for my daughters. He is more of a Dad to my oldest daughter than her biological dad will ever be. And I like you said he didn't have to. So please thank him for taking on that role and being a true DAD to your little girl! :)

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  6. This post is absolutely the best. You three are the sweetest family!

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  7. This made me cry last night ❤️

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  8. A dad is defined by love not by genes. Just walk away from mean people

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  10. That picture says it all. this is a story no one could write it is so good. I know God was in the planning of all these complexities and he has blessed your family immensely

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  11. I just came across your blog through Instagram and am so glad I did! It's funny because we seem to be at pretty similar spots in life and we blog about a lot of the same topics so I'm finding it very easy to relate to you! This post is beautiful. It's such a shame that some people have to be such jerks. It sounds like you have a great guy some hopefully you can just focus on that - but I know that's so much easiest said than done! Anyway, loving your blog and I'm excited to follow along on your journey! Happy Sunday!

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  12. What a sweet post. Job well done Michael! You two seem to compliment each other well and obviously little miss is the frosting to the cake ( and lets be real, frosting is the best part!).

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  13. Thank you so much for this post! It gives me hope that I'll be able to find someone worth while who'll be able to step up more than my sons biological father...

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