Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Dear Five Year Old Daughter

Dear Five Year Old Daughter,

Being your mom is my most favorite thing. Ever.
But there are times I want to absolutely run away and cry.
I want to write these times down so some day you might look back on this crazy life we've been living together and laugh, cry, or maybe even appreciate the memories we've created together.

I love this age that you're in. You think you know EVERYTHING.
Sometimes I truly wonder if you do know everything, but I will never admit that to you.
There are days you out-logic your dad and I and I know you are his in some way his. (Your dad is the logical side of our relationship/family) How can a five year old out-logic me?! You my dear make it possible. You ask questions that make me even scratch my head. Like listening to music and asking "mom, why did she crash her car into a bridge? and WHY did she love it?! and WHYYYY doesn't she care?!?!"

You are at an age where I want to scream on a daily basis. Terrible twos? HA! Two's were a BREEZE!  Traumatizing threes? Those don't stand a chance. Five. Five years old. There needs to be a manual for how to deal with five year olds. You're kind of a monster. You have found your voice. You have found your sassiness. You have found your limits and you know the consequences when you push them.
You don't let me go to the bathroom alone, EVER. Just the other day you came in and talked about the toilet bowl cleaner THE WHOLE TIME. Why are you so interested in the toilet bowl cleaner?!
You scare people because you think its funny and you wrestle with your dogs. I never thought my dainty little girl would ever want to wrestle with anything. You've grown up so much in the last year.
I think if I counted, you would ask 4,592 questions a day. Do you know what that does to a mom?!?!

But oh my darling, I love this age. You are so fun. You are so funny. Witty, and gorgeous, and kind and caring, and full of life. You are everything I hope to be some day when I grow up. Can you teach me how?
I've learned more from you in the last year of your life than ever before.
Something about the way you come into my room and say "mommy, you smell like fresh flowers" or the way you hug me and say "you will always be my best friend".
I hope that is true, baby girl. I hope we are ALWAYS best friends.

Out of everyone I know in my entire life, I truly think you are the most kind-hearted person I know. You care so much about others, how they are feeling, and how things will make them feel in the long run. Even on the days I want to rip my hair out because of you, you look at me with this look. It's almost like you know i'm losing my cool. You always tend to say "I love you mommy" right at the perfect time. You are at the age where you are attached to my hip. You want to do everything i'm doing. If i'm wearing a dress that day, you want to be wearing a dress. If you have picked out a dress, you want me to put one on. Are you sensing a theme? You LOVE dresses, little one. I love how girly you are. I always wanted a girly girl.

Five years old has been such a challenge yet exiting age for me. Everyday I wake up wondering what funny thing will come out of your mouth or what melt down you might have because of something silly. Thank you for giving me this life. Thank you for making each day worth it. Being your mom has been the greatest blessing i've ever received and I can't wait to watch you grow up into the wonderful girl you are becoming. You'll always be my best friend.

I'll love you forever, i'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. (I really love when you make me sing that to you before bed or when you're scared. I cry every time, but for some reason you love it.)




Friday, July 3, 2015

HP Instant Ink Review!

{I was excited and humbled for this opportunity to review HP Instant Ink and to receive the HP Envy printer. This product was sent to me for review purposes however ALL opinions expressed in this post are my own and honest.} 

You know you're an adult when the thought of new printer ink gets you more excited than most things in your day to day life. Am I right?! Let's be honest, printer ink is important. If you're a mom/wife/entrepreneur/student or anything in-between i'm sure you use a printer! 

M and I have seriously been trying to buy a printer for a good solid 6 months. We live in small town USA and no where in our town sells ink. Whenever we head to the "big city" it's never on the forefront of my mind to remember printer ink. Do you know how many times we've tried to print something and we can't because we forget that we're out of printer ink?! Talk about frustration! 

I love, love, LOVE that with HP Instant Ink, there is an EASY way to make sure you never run out of ink. Remember the whole 'we live in the middle of nowhere thing'? Having the ink delivered to our door makes this one of the greatest things I have yet to encounter in my adult life. Y'all think i'm kidding? Let's talk about the plethora of things I plan on printing with my printer! 

COUPONS! Hello! I can now PRINT COUPONS FROM MY HOME! 
Concert tickets. I don't know why this is such a big deal to me, but I really don't like concert/game tickets on my phone. I want to be able to physically hold something. I usually will go down to the library and print them from there, but not any more! 
Free printables from Pinterest. I don't know how many cute things I see on Pinterest that I want to print and I just have to cry at my computer screen because I can't, until now! 
Can ANY ONE relate to my excitement here?! I truly hope i'm not alone! 

One major thing for us as a family is the unlimited amount of possibilities. M and I truly have a passion for creating business ideas. We love conjuring up ideas and putting those ideas on paper. Recently, M has gone as far as creating his first true business plan. I can't wait to print it out using our HP Envy printer in hopes of creating a new business and ultimately a lifetime of change and happiness. 

If you know me/follow me, you know that I love Instagram. It's probably my favorite social media platform. When I knew that HP has a special product called Social Media Snapshots, I about cried from excitement. These truly are my dream come true! They have sticky backs that make it perfect for scrapbooking and the fact that they are compatible with my printer just keeps my excitement running ramped. 

When signing up for HP Instant Ink, there are different plans starting as low as $2.99 a month. Hello, talk about affordable! Depending on how much you print, you can find a plan perfect for you and that fits your needs. Simple enough, huh? Does anyone else see the greatness in this?!




I know when I first started posting about this awesome printer, a lot of people were anxious to hear my thoughts because a lot of people are in the market for a new printer! Well you're in luck, people! With any purchase of a new HP Printer, you are eligible for 3 months of FREE INK. Want to sign up?! Just CLICK HERE! (I know you want to!) 

I know it's something small, but I can't wait to see how our lives change with this printer! What are your favorite things to print at home? I would love to hear about them in the comments and maybe we have something in common! 

Again, thank you so much to HP and Collectively for this opportunity. I am so amazed at the opportunities my blog has brought my way and this is at the top of the most amazing ones. 


Thursday, June 25, 2015

NoGii Product Review!

{I was sent these products for review purposes, however all opinions are my OWN and are HONEST}

Do you love all things carbs and buttery, flakey, gluten(y) goodness?! Well, this post probably isn't for you. But nonetheless, I do have to tell you about some of the most delicious treats on the market, whether you're gluten free or not! Buckle up y'all, this is an exciting one! 

NoGii is a gluten free brand created by Elisabeth Hasselback. Pretty cool, right?! This isn't just a person who created a brand because of the gluten free craze, she actually has celiac herself and has created a brand for people like herself! Where are my celiac peeps at?! 

Let's rewind to the day I got this amazing package of products to review in the mail. Can you say "HOLY WOW"?!?! I was amazed at the amount of products! So beyond generous in my opinion! 
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU NoGii! (Four for you!)
Now if you know me, you know I love "bars". (Is that a slang term? I'm just gonna roll with it.) I love being able to grab something on the go and feeling confident that I will always have a snack in my purse. I bring them to work in the morning, in the afternoons, on car rides, and pretty much everywhere in-between. Me being hungry is not a pretty sight. Just ask my husband. ;)

I have been trying to cut out gluten as much as physically possible so these delectable little treats make it really easy! (Ignore the pizza and cheesy bread I had for dinner tonight.) This whey & quinoa protein powder in my morning smoothies is AMAZING. I honestly didn't even know they made protein powder with quinoa. Maybe i'm sheltered, maybe i'm not. Either way, I have found what I now use in each of my morning smoothies. 

My two favorite bars were the Cookies & Cream & the Peanut Butter and Caramel bar. It is truly a slice of heaven. Looking for a sweet treat that won't make you feel terrible about yourself afterwards?! You need these in your life! Not to mention there are TONS of other flavors to choose from! Those are just two of my personal favorites! :) 

I know what you're all wondering…"but how does it TASTE?!" I'm here to say i've had my fair share of gluten free foods, and this ranks at the top of the list. Seriously y'all, you won't regret these. 

Don't I have a cute helper? ;) 




Want to try some of these for yourself?! Head over to my Instagram and comment on any photo saying which one you're most interested in trying! I will pick one random person to send a goodie bag to! 
Are you a "bars" person?! What has been your favorite brand/flavor so far? Leave a comment and lets get talkin'! 


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Your Summer Date Ideas Are Horrible

(Disclaimer: this post is all in good fun)

I've seen this post going viral lately. 25 Things Every Couple Should Do This Summer. Cute, right?! 
Well, let's take a look at this list and talk about what each of these things ACTUALLY mean…

1. Go skinny-dipping
Okay, this one isn't too bad. Get naked together and do yo thang if that's what you're into.

2. Race each other. 
How is this fun? Or cute? I just imagine being like "hey! lets race, ready, go!" and M just staring at me. 

3. Make out at the top of the ferris wheel. 
Because there are so many ferris wheels just hanging out all over the place. Go find one. And make out. How about you just make out where ever the hell you want to make out?

4. Buy a guide and go stargazing. 
Why do you need a guide for this? Go lay in your backyard and look up. 
No one ACTUALLY finds/understands constellations. 

5. Watch the sunset from the hood of your car.
Have you ever tried to legitimately sit/lay on the hood of a car for a long period of time? Maybe it's just me, but I feel like i'm going to make it cave in at any given moment in time. Add my man up there too and our next date is going to be to the auto body shop to get it fixed. 

6. Campout in your backyard.
I like this one. Do this. Unless you live in an apartment. It might not work so well. 

7. Have a candlelit outdoor dinner.
Two things come to mind with this one. 1) Flies annoy me. And eating outside with flies doesn't sound appealing to me. and 2) Good luck lighting and candle long enough for an entire meal without the wind blowing it out. 

8. Kiss as fireworks explode in the background.
And make sure you post it on Instagram July 4th or 5th like every other human being that day. #merica

9. Get cozy at a drive-in movie. 
I haven't seen a drive-in movie in AGES. Please don't make this a priority on your summer bucket list. 

10. Write your initials in the sand. 
This is just silly. And cliche. And I'm not driving 10+ hours to get to a beach to do this & you shouldn't either. 

11. Get a couples massage, on the beach. 
Again, unless you live by the beach this is just silly. Go get on in your hometown where you can then go home and take a nap in your own bed. 

12. Rent a convertible. 
Renting a car for a day just to drive around town seems like a ridiculous waste of money. I ain't about that life. 

13. Eat a ridiculously expensive dinner (and a bunch of other stuff). 
I can't even say anything bad about this. I love eating out. Cheap dinners, expensive dinners, I love them all and I do not discriminate. 

14. Dance outside in a summer rain shower. 
By the time you're done taking pictures for instagram and posting about the weather on Facebook, the rain will have probably stopped and you won't have time to dance in it. 

15. Leave a sweet sticky note on the bathroom mirror.
Girls love this stuff. Guys won't notice it for three weeks. 

16. People watch in a park and make up stories for each couple you see. 
I do this on a daily basis so adding it to my summer bucket list seems counterproductive. 

17. Have a picnic.
Again, can't say anything bad about this one. I love me a good picnic. (And by 'picnic' I mean I love going to subway and eating it in the park)

18. Take a bike ride.
How many of you grown adults actually own bikes? No really, i'd like to know…

19. Make a bet over a round of mini golf. 
….okay

20. Be like kids and go fly a kite.
When was the last time you tried to fly a kite? IT'S HARD! I mean truly, it hardly EVER works. Don't waste your time. 

21. Volunteer at an animal shelter. 
Don't do this. Your girlfriend will want to leave with 3 dogs and every cat there. 

22. Compete for who can take the most ridiculous selfie.
Why is this even on a bucket list of any kind? Don't do this. 

23. Play in the sprinklers. 
Another one that isn't so terrible. 

24. Share an ice cream cone. 
Screw you, I will not share any of kind of ice cream with you. You may get your own. 

25. Kiss in the ocean. 
Again, the whole "traveling to find an ocean" thing is really putting a damper on this list. And trying to battle waves? And seaweed? And ocean monsters? Doesn't sound terribly romantic to me. 

All jokes aside, I hope you all have the greatest summer, whatever you decide to do! What IS one thing on your summer bucket list?! I would love to hear about it! (And I promise not to make fun of it!) I hope this made someone giggle a little bit, and remember this was all in good fun. ;) 

Sunday, May 31, 2015

I'm Nervous to Blog

I've heard it said before that great blogging is about creating an emotional connection with your readers and THAT is what you strive for. Every blog post I do, I think about who it might affect and the people I might touch with it. Over the past few months I haven't blogged often, but I have shared about topics near and dear to my heart. Dealing with infertility, being on clomid, and not much in-between. Lets just say it: I've been slacking on the blog-front. Who is surprised? (No one raises their hands. I get it.)

I've been nervous. The last few blog posts of mine have created a lot of buzz. They've resulted in a lot of messages, texts, emails from people I don't know, and so much more. I love that feeling. I love knowing I am creating content people can relate to. I love knowing I am being influential with my story. I love knowing people can relate to me on a "not so traditional" forefront. With that also comes a standard I have now set for myself. My blog has always been a huge success for me. AND I AM PROUD OF MY BLOG. I am proud of what i've created. But is it enough?

I'm nervous that now that i've created, what I think is amazing content, people are expecting that type of content with each post, picture, status, etc. It takes time for me, though. It takes time for me to muster up the courage to post such heart-wrenching blog posts. I love doing it more than anything, but it honestly takes me days to even post because I analyze and dictate every word and sentence. Am I being too honest? Am I being too mean? Am I being too open? Am I sharing too much? It ALL crosses my mind.

What if what i'm posting now isn't good enough? What if my every day, working an 8-5, can't keep our house clean type blog posts aren't good enough? People don't want to read about how i'm tired everyday or about how our house still looks like we moved in last week despite being here for almost two years. (WAIT WHAT?!?!) No one wants that. I think that's why I go through spurts of not blogging. I get nervous.

I have standards for myself and for my blog and being mediocre isn't in those standards. Right now, i'm in the process of trying to "rebrand". If you're a blogger, you know what that entails. If you're not a blogger, just bare with me. I promise it will be worth it. I PINK PROMISE that it will be worth it.

I love my blog. I love my readers. I love my life and everything I share with y'all. I hope that I haven't disappointed any of my loyal readers and you understand where I am coming from for the time being. I know I say it a lot, but I love and appreciate EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. YOU. These next few months are going to be exciting.
Will you continue along in our journey?

Sunday, April 19, 2015

One Year of Infertility

What?! How am I already writing a "one year" post on this subject? It feels like just yesterday we "decided to start trying" and I never thought in a MILLION years I would be a person to struggle with this. I've been thinking about how I wanted to write this post but each and every time I thought about what I would write, I just started crying. This subject is touchy. This subject is heart wrenching and life changing and brings so many mixed emotions into my life. 

I often wonder if I should be sharing these types of things on my blog. Should I be writing about the absolute, most intimate parts of my life? I get nervous. Nervous for peoples reactions, nervous about how people might perceive me, and nervous about saying too much and not being able to take any of it back. Isn't that the beautiful part of having a blog, though? I get to share and share and share and maybe someone, just one person, they might relate. They might take something away from my post or they might feel uplifted, inspired, or even as if they aren't alone. That is why I do this. That is why I post these scary, yet real posts. It is my life. It's OUR life. And I love sharing our story. 

April 2014 was the month M and I decided we would "stop preventing". Part of me hates myself for being SO naive to think it would just "happen". On the other hand, how was I to know? No one plans for these types of situations. Absolutely no one. The first few months went by and I just kept telling myself "it's okay, we just need time". After 6 months had passed I felt absolutely crushed. I felt angry and confused and hurt and every emotion in-between. 

Trying for a baby is a funny thing. I go through different episodes of crazy which is one of the worst things about all of this. Some days i'm TRULY okay with where we're at. But on my bad days, I cry. I cry constantly and I feel like a complete and utter psycho. I cry knowing things aren't going according to my plan. It's a hard thing to cope with. Every time my cycle comes I sit on the bathroom floor and cry and pray to God this is my last month I have to go through this. I pray constantly that I'm ready to be a mom again. And not to mention the clomid has made me 129485920 times more crazy and emotional than I already am. But you already knew that because of my last blog post. 

This past year has, through everything, been amazing. Every second with M has truly been a fairytale since the day I met him. We've grown together like CRAZY through this adventure called infertility. I truly don't know where I would be without him and his support. (Well, I wouldn't be trying for a baby, but that's besides the point.) M and I work. Our teamwork is phenomenal and the both of us together are unstoppable. I think you have to have a pretty strong husband to deal with you during your TTC journey. So once again, shout out to my husband for dealing with me. 

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. I'm sharing our journey in hopes that someone else will share theirs. Infertility isn't "normal". It's not easy to deal with and it's emotionally draining. You are not alone. If you are struggling with infertility, i'm here to tell you that you are NOT alone. This is our story. This is our journey. This is our life and I couldn't love it any more if I tried.

(Picture over the past year that truly make me smile. I love you, M. Thanks for creating this life with me and giving me everything I could ask for and more.)










Sunday, April 12, 2015

Am I Really Posting This?

The life of a blogger is a weird one. You put so much of your life on the internet and hope that people don't rip apart your every move. In an effort to keep your blog going good, most people post lots of fun, uplifting, heart-happy posts. I love doing that myself, but I also like being real. I like posting about what truly is happening in my life. I feel like in doing that, the people who read my blog have a more personal connection with me and I absolutely LOVE that. 

I have a lot of things I don't blog about. In an odd sense though, I wish I did blog about them. Blogging is my therapy. I also have a lot of "unpopular opinions" about things. This post is dedicated to all those things. Sit tight, buckle up, and prepare yourself for a side of me you've never seen….

>>>I thought that at some point after moving to the middle of nowhere USA I would regret it. I can wholeheartedly say I have yet to regret it. Not even once. 

>>>I'm 95% sure I suffer from depression.

>>>"If i'm not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotion scale, i'm crying." If you know what that reference is from, we can be friends. Also, it is 100% true that if I'm not somewhere in that range, i'm crying. Too happy…crying. Too sad…crying. It's a fun trait to have. My husband especially loves it. (Poor guy)

>>>I actually don't agree with women whipping their boobies out and breastfeeding with no coverup. I understand they are feeding their child, but why not cover up?!? (I know i'll get a lot of hate for this one. Sue me.)

>>>I have chronic fatigue and it is the thing I am the most insecure about (besides my complexion). Everyone that knows me knows that I take naps more than my child and most of the time I'm in bed by 8 pm. I hate that about myself. Sometimes I literally CANNOT physically keep my eyes open. People mock me about it all the time and I know it's all in good fun, but it is something I am truly embarrassed about and absolutely hate. 

>>>The smell of ketchup after it's been sitting on a plate is literally the most disgusting smell in the entire universe. Like to the point where it makes me gag. 

>>>I think about death every. single. day. And not in a "I hate life and I think about dying" kind of way. Just every day I wonder if this is the day i'm going to get into a fatal car crash or if someone is going to invade my home and shoot me. 

>>>I think a "stay at home wife" is the biggest joke. What do you do all day when you don't have kids?!

Well folks, there it is. A few things I thought I would never post on my blog. Feel free to judge me, or feel free to comment below and let me know if you relate to any of these things! I truly appreciate every single one of you who took the time to read this post. It wasn't an easy one for me to post, but i'm happy I did.